STEEL PANTHER @ TOAD’S PLACE WITH SMALL TOWN TITANS

 

I planned on attending this Steel Panther gig, had tickets for a couple of months. I told everyone I was watching an important NFL game (Bengals vs Chiefs) and didn’t want to leave for the show until the game was over. When my photographer, the amazingly talented Holly Roy Borden, messaged me that we had to cover the opening band – I let out a heavy sigh. Thankfully I found out Bengals won before I entered the venue so I sported my Joe Burrow #9 shirt. This was the first time I had to walk through a metal detector at Toad’s Place, and I have attended countless concerts there.

Shame on me because the opening band Small Town Titans were so impressive I can’t wait to see them again. The place was already filled with a sizable crowd. The self described “American rock n’ roll power trio from York, PA” consists of Phillip Freeman  (Vocals, Bass Guitar), Benjamin Guiles (Guitar, Backing Vocals) and Jonathan O’Neil (Drums, Backing Vocals). I was immediately drawn to the sound and blown away when I saw the band was made up of only three members.

They have the rawness of our favorite garage bands combined with the talent of seasoned musicians. STT threw down original songs like “The Man” which has quieter rock verses leading to a crushing choruses, and the catchy yet powerful “Rufflin Feathers”. I believe most people know them for their version of “You’re A Mean One, Mr Grinch”, and they satisfied the crowd by belting it out for this holiday themed production.

Phillip’s vocals are brawny, imposing and attention getting. He has solid range. Benjamin jumps around while executing heavy guitar riffs and Jonathan anchors the grooves on percussion. This muscular trio is entertaining to all of the senses. STT gave a shout out to Steel Panther and one of them said “Satchel said my wife sucks green tit”.

Phillip declared how appreciative they were to be playing at the legendary Toad’s Place, at Yale University in New Haven. STT wrapped up the set with their crowd anthem “Rowdy & Reckless” and some bad ass harmonica from Phillip. Check out their albums Reflection or The Ride and know that they sound even better live.

Full of STT hype and energy I mixed in with the crowd and flapped my jaws about the Bengals win over the Chiefs. Everyone was festive, kind and in a great mood anticipating the inappropriately funny yet talented Steel Panther.

As the house music volume climbed and Van Halen’s “Unchained” was released the crowd responded with glee and the place started thumpin. The fans knew they were about to get pleasured by Steel Panther. “Goin In The Backdoor” (gonna be a tight squeeze) was the opener followed by “Tomorrow Night” (security and pussy will both be tight) and “Asian Hooker” (hot little mother fucker). SP declared it was their first time performing at the legendary Toad’s Place and then pointed to a fan and said “I fucked that kid’s mom”. I found it hard to believe they were virgins of anything.

Vocalist Michael Starr reminded us we were not at a Brittany Spears concert. Next up was “All I Wanna Do is Fuck (Myself Tonight)” (no bitch around here is finer), “Just Like Tiger Woods” (grip that shaft like you know you should) and “Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)” (don’t give up you still have time). At that time the mic cut out a bit but was immediately corrected. At this point the spectators were really vibin, being treated to the combination of adult comedy and solid musicianship wrapped up in an 80s parody glam band that is SP. I’ve seen them twice and they sound better than any Motley Crue live show I’ve attended.

Michael Starr’s uncanny Ozzy Osbourne impression was bestowed upon us for “Crazy Train”. Satchel lit up the stage with his fiery guitar solo, which included a ripping version of EVH’s “Eruption”. The holiday gem “The Stocking Song” (gonna stuff your stocking this year) was next up, with kazoos being added to the instrument inventory. Followed by the band’s infamous crowd interaction hit “Girl From Oklahoma” (I’ll be singing about you on our next CD), a hottie named Simone (she had awesome sparkly kicks that looked amazing on stage) was plucked from the crowd and sat on a chair while being serenaded by SP

Simone got to choose 17 girls from the audience to join her on stage for “17 Girls In A Row” (look out!). I was on a mission to be one of those girls. I was in a happy place, hanging out and partying with friends, enjoying great live music and reeling from the Bengals victory. There I was pushing my way up front and tried to get Simone’s attention while I stood behind some guy that reeked of Axe body spray. She saw me! She picked me! Two security guards somehow quickly and efficiently hoisted all of me over the barrier and onto the stage and made sure I was balanced before moving on to grab the next girl.

I did it!  I was on stage with SP! It was full of beautiful scantily clad girls dancing, twerking, enjoying each other, hanging onto band members while I turned my back to the crowd and pointed to my Joe Burrow #9 shirt.while also jumping around, acknowledged Satchel, hung out next to the drummer, watched a girl flash her tits, but mostly I pointed to my shirt.

Once the beauties exited the stage the set wrapped up with “Death To All But Metal” (Everybody Shout, Heavy Metal’s Back!). It turned out SP must’ve popped some Cialis because they were ready to go another round with “Community Property” (you’re the only girl I like to screw when I’m not on the road) and “Gloryhole” (no need for romance) before packing it in for the night.

Steel Panther is such a fun night out. They’re inappropriate with their adult lyrics (which is why I included some next to the song titles), look exactly like every 80s glam band, but they sound better than most of those bands in their prime. The fans had a blast, laughing, dancing, taking in the live music, interacting. What a way to wrap up the Steel Panther Claus and Paws Holiday Party, as this was the last date in their quick 7 stop tour.

Don’t miss vocalist Michael Starr, guitarist Satchel, drummer Stix Zadinia and bassist Spyder when they come to infect your town. Pick up their new album On The Prowl unless you’re a little bitch.

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